LIVING THE GONEGIRLGO LIFE: NIYIA

Niyia is a really good friend of my sister Nikki. I remember when we first met. This was about the time that I was facilitating God’s Beauty Shop and she had an etiquette school for girls. We talked on and on about our passion to help women and girls realize their true beauty. I didn’t know that one day our paths would cross again and that we would engage in a few projects together. I just love my “sis”. She’s energetic, spirited, down-to-earth, and motivated to push her ideas forward. She recently appeared in the play, "If You Knew Better,You'd Better Do Better". As an image and style coach, she is always pushing the message about the value of having true style. Whenever I see her, I am immediately drawn in by her gracious smile. I appreciate having such a vibrant person in my circle. Trust me, she keeps me pushing forward by living a gonegirlgo life!

Niyia wants to share the process that she went through that gave birth to her idea and vision, HIS Style. Here’s Niyia’s story:

At some point in my life I realized that I had to change being directed by my emotions and allowing them to trigger my insecurities. My response was terrible and a huge contradiction of who I thought I was - a stylish and polished lady! My response only displayed that I was capable of being loud, immature, revengeful, and strong in the wrong areas. One night in March 2011, I was up crying and having a pity party all by me because my inappropriate response cost me a relationship that I wanted to work. My reaction weighed on me deeply. I prayed and asked God, “How could this have gone differently? Please show me how to be better. Why can’t I say what I see just the way I see it?  Am I supposed to ‘fix’ myself to make others comfortable with me? What is wrong with my direct approach?”


Being patient is not one of my strongest attributes. I was forced to wait on the answer. About 30 days passed and I got my answer. The answer was so simple. Are you ready? DRUM ROLL… He told me that just as much effort as I put into my outward style I need to put into my inward style!  That was it! Doing those things that I was taught – being fly, having nice things, cooking a fabulous meal, or keeping my house spotless didn’t mean a thing if I were empty, dying in the inside, and displaying every image, but the one He gave me. All I could say was “Wow!” That very night HIS Style was born and my pain became fuel, and my mistake became my blessing.


HIS Style is a seminar that I developed to help women learn how to be response-able by identifying their cycle of inappropriate responses, and bad decision making that causes us to “blow down” or shut down. My desire is for women to get on beat with HIS heart so that we conduct ourselves with HIS Style no matter what issue arises. When we acquire HIS Style we can walk in the fullness of who we are and let go of the baggage that makes us so insecure.


Life challenges for many of us result in a push forward and may even lead to an idea to do something like Niyia described in her story. If she hadn’t experienced that tumultuous period, HIS Style may not have ever been born. I am excited about the first HIS Style seminar which takes place on Saturday, May 5, 2012 in Chagrin Falls Ohio. Tickets are $15.00 and can be purchased in advance. Contact Niyia at (216) 820-0711 or visit her website at www.uniquelyniyia.com for more information. Every woman who attends the workshop will receive a HIS Style Manual to remind them of how to move with style in everyday situations.


Keep the gonegirlgo stories coming. They inspire us all to push forward and go. 


Peace

LIVING THE GONEGIRLGO LIFE: DR. MARY JO ODOM

When this movement began, so much of it centered on the process of exploring my inner self.  During this heavy self-reflective time, I discovered four components of gonegirlgo that were essential if I was going to push forward and go. If you think back to those earlier posts, you will recall:

1.    Refuse to live by default

2.    Push against self-imposed barriers

3.    Be a reformed procrastinator (This has since changed, but that's another post.)

4.    Make meaning for yourself

The Core Action: Work on Your Inner Self is an
ongoing action in Challenge Me to Grow.

I felt compelled to get to the core of my issues and the reasons why I held myself back for so long. It was refreshing and in the process, I discovered that this movement had been germinating in my spirit for a long time. This realization and the things that God allowed to happen accidentally on purpose really pushed me forward to explore what the possibilities of the movement could be. What resulted is a learning solution called Challenge Me to Grow and at the core of the curriculum is the action Work on Your Inner Self.  

I am convinced that 90% of our problem pushing our ideas forward is wrapped up in our inability to get past the internal mess that we have created in our being. We are our worst enemy. We put up roadblocks in our minds, let our thoughts hold us captive, and create stories about ourselves that just aren’t true. This next story is from a really good friend of mine who has experienced what we all have experienced – inner turmoil that prevented her from living the gonegirlgo life. Here is Mary Jo and her story. She wants to tell you how she worked on her inner self so that she could push forward her idea.

I wore masks to hide, because internally I was dying. I wore masks to hide the pain and to deal with people and challenges.

In one period of my life, I experienced a lot of challenges, but I tried to still be strong for family, friends, and co-workers. My best friend was dying of cancer. I had just given birth to a beautiful baby boy. My other son was completing his second year of college. My abusive marriage was ending in divorce. I was worrying about my niece in the Iraq war. To top things off, I was completing my PhD.  To deal with the pain, I isolated myself mainly because I didn’t want anyone to see that I didn’t have it together this time. Family and friends was used to leaning on me, but now I couldn’t even hold myself up. One day my best friend dying of cancer said to me, “You are dying inside and I can see it all destroying the beauty that is you. If I could only live life over again.” His words still resonate in me.

As I look back, I think of a quote from Tony Robbins - “Change is never a matter of ability, but a matter of motivation”.  I needed to change and my friend’s death was the motivation to make it happen. The first thing I did was returned to church because addressing my spiritual needs was essential. I also found a therapist who helped me deal with my inner turmoil. One of the most powerful moments with her was when she asked to describe myself.  I told her, “I wear the mask. I don’t know who I am. My identity has always been attached to my parents, children, husband, and friends”.  She then asked me to draw and name all the masks that I wore and much to my surprise I came up with 23 masks. I named, described, and rationalized each mask. Her response to me was, “You must be tired.” At that moment, I realized that changing the masks daily was draining. The baggage I have carried most of my life meant meeting the needs of others and living up to everyone’s expectation and not having any expectations of me. My identity was attached to their wants, desires, and tasks.

I went through several other exercises with my therapist that helped me navigate who I was. I started keeping a journal of people, places and things that made me happy. Keeping note and learning about the true person inside became a project. I studied myself and discovered the subject of “me” was fascinating. Attached to my destiny was finding either new employment or creating something that would stir something within me. I began to consider diversity because it was a subject I studied as part of my PhD specialization. I prayed about it and God said, “Why can’t you use what I gave you in my house?”

Then I started to conduct research and discovered only 5% of religious organizations were racially integrated. The work I did in the secular community regarding diversity started changing my perspective about the church. I realized that this was bigger than me and that I would be the first to do this work. I understood that God’s grace would see me through and it would be for His glory. So the work began. I updated my knowledge through research on historical information, current data, and biblical principles. I discussed diversity and began to train Pastors on the implications of diversity in the church. I started teaching at a Christian University, and training Christian organizations. I began to write "The First Christian Diversity Handbook: Heaven Is Not Segregated”. I have completed my book and it is currently in the editing process. Now my days are filled with moving forward and I have addressed and healed the internal issues. Because of my healing, I am editing my book, conducting workshops, running my organization Vesicle Learning Inc., and working on the next phase. There are still hurdles to jump; however, I keep my journal near to read it over again and add new things that I discover to encourage and motivate myself to move.  Please visit my website at http://www.vesiclelearning.com for more information about a biblical perspective of diversity.

Mary Jo’s story touches me because of her honest disclosure about seeking professional help. I am reminded of an event that I recently attended at Case Western University – The Road to Recovery Mental Health Forum. The guest speaker was Terrie Williams, the author of Black Pain: It Just Looks Like We’re Not Hurting. Her foundation – The Stay Strong Foundation are pushing forward the message that it is okay for us to seek professional help when you are experiencing inner turmoil. I believe that many of us don't push forward our ideas because our inner turmoil runs real deep. So if necessary, let's be brave and get the help that we need so that we can do the work that we were assigned to do.

Peace  

LIVING THE GONEGIRLGO LIFE: IMANI

My one wish throughout the development of this movement has been that it would profoundly impact women. I haven't conducted any research or taken any polls, but based on the feedback that I have been getting on Facebook and Twitter, gonegirlgo is creating a little stir in my itty bitty corner of the universe (or so I believe). There's energy, momentum, and lots of excitement pushing the movement forward. It's amazing how my conversations with others about the movement radiate this energy, momentum, and excitement. It cracks me up thinking about conversations that I have had with different women about their ideas which end in the final, conclusive statement, "gonegirlgo!" 


But what is even more meaningful is the effect that the movement is having on women who are close to me. My mom and I have been connecting more deeply. So have me and my sister, Missy. The movement has widened the door for me to connect with my oldest daughter, Imani who at the tender age of 22, is establishing her identity and exploring her possibilities. We talk a lot about the ideas that she wants to execute. She's determined to push forward a project showcasing her artistic talents. What that says to me is that this movement is for women of all ages. That's the target audience - women of all ages. 


The other day, Imani shared with me an Instagram message that she posted. I was so touched by her honesty, clarity, and determination to define her movement. She's living the gonegirlgo life too and I wanted to share this snapshot of her story that is just beginning. Check out my boo:

When Imani shared with me her desire to become a great makeup artist, I will admit that I was a little disappointed. I wanted her to take the road that I took. I wanted her to conform to my expectations. At some point, I realized that I needed to let her push forward and go. It was hard, but very necessary. She is pushing forward so that she can go impact her world. I'm proud of her and that's cool with me.


Peace

LIVING THE GONEGIRLGO LIFE: RA'NESHA

It's been a while, I know, since I last posted something on the blog. Being a consistent blogger is a challenge, especially when you are trying to maintain a bias toward action.The movement is not gonegirlwrite. (It could be though, now that I think about. You make meaning of this movement for yourself. Your "go" is action - whatever that action is supposed to be then go ahead and do it!) Anyway, I wish I could write all day long, but at some point, I have to execute; I have to push forward and go. 


So I am executing this thing, right? I've married the movement with my purpose and passion which has resulted in the development of a niche training program. I've held two Kick-Off sessions of the Challenge Me to Grow Blended Learning Experience. The pilot of Challenge Me to Grow actually starts in a couple of weeks. There are about 10 women ready to go. The website is in the works and there are some other goodies in development that make me way too excited.

While all of this is happening, I can't help but notice the women who I am encountering on a regular. They are really my inspiration. Observing and listening to them, gives me a reason to do what I do. Some are ready to go. There are others whose pilot lights are just being ignited. While others are already taking action.  They are determined, energetic, and motivated. They want to be a blessing to others. They want to leave behind a legacy that their children can be proud of. They are gonegirlgo personified. 


These next series of posts will feature women who are living the gonegirlgo life. I believe that the power of their stories will definitely encourage others to push forward and go. 


Meet Ra'Nesha Wilson, a University of Akron graduate who has her own consulting firm, The Springer Group, LLC. At some point in her life she wanted to make a change and do something different. She wanted to push forward her idea so that she could go impact the world. This is her story.

Zoe: What idea popped into your head?

I am free-spirited. I believe that
 nothing in life is hard when you live life
to the fullest and end everyday with a
smile despite circumstance. I believe it is
important to pray first than take action.
Ra'Nesha Wilson

Ra’Nesha: It was time for me to invest more into the community. I was not placed on this earth to be selfish and be all about me. I became involved in an annual community action project of Dress for Success Cleveland called the Prom Project “Once in a Lifetime”. The goal of the project is to give two deserving female high school students the most memorable prom regardless of their families’ financial hardships. We secured donations from successful entrepreneurs in the Cleveland area including, gift cards, spa gift baskets filled with tons of goodies and surprises, hair and nails done by Anntwinette as Salon Productions, a senior photo shoot by Joseph White of Studio J. Photography, Box Bag Purses donated by Michelle Crawford, Mary Kay lip gloss and fragrances donated by Clotea Mack, strawberries donated by Ronnie, the owner of The Pink Strawberry, and a full facial makeover with Shannon Hamilton of Mary Kay. In addition, each young woman will be presented with a check to purchase their prom dress and other accessories.

Zoe: What were some of the questions that you asked yourself that helped you dig a little deeper to explore the possibilities of your idea? 

The Five Essential Actions of
Challenge Me to Grow

Ra’Nesha: What is the need? How can I be an asset to others? Would I rather be part of the solution or the person who only complains without action? I remain focused and motivated by realizing that some things are bigger than me and it is not always about me. It is about the person whose life I can change by giving a small token of my time.

Zoe: What process did you use to map it out and get yourself organized?

Ra’Nesha: I created a vision board because it is a simple yet powerful visualization tool that activates the universal law of attraction to begin manifesting your dreams into reality.

Zoe: Who did you share your idea with?

Ra’Nesha: I shared my idea with Joandra Wilson (sister), Lauren Miller (mentor), Jeffrey Springer (boyfriend), Marlin Martin (friend), Howard Payton (family member/mentor), Carmen Hawkins (past delegate of Dress for Success). They supported me in various ways by helping me clearly define my vision and providing monetary support. 

I pray that my idea will have a positive impact and motivate others to give. I must say the ability to assist someone in need is truly a blessing and very fulfilling to me. So far I have received many calls from people I don’t know thanking me and letting me know they are praying for me.

Zoe: What does executing your idea feel like?

Ra’Nesha: Unbelievable. I am so graciously thankful.

If you are interested in donating to the Prom Project, click this link
http://www.dressforsuccess.org/affiliate.aspx?sisid=19&pageid=22. Click the PayPal link and make sure to type “CAP” as the Purpose so that your contribution is applied to the Prom Project.


See. There's no reason to be fearful about that idea that popped into your head. Your idea contributes to the greater good and it inspires someone else. Live the gonegirlgo life. Push forward and go.


Peace

OK. NO STRESS.

Workshop design finalized on Monday. Made copies on Tuesday and Wednesday. Thursday all is well. Friday. Anxiety. Uncertainty. Fear of the Unknown. No projector. Ok. No stress. Got projector and other last minute items. Late night Friday. Early rise Saturday. Wanted everything to be just right. Ok. No Stress. Hadn't finished some minor things. Ok. No stress. Got in the shower later than anticipated. Ok. No stress. Arrived on time. No time to set up. Folks arrived early. Ok. No stress. We all pitched in to set up the room. Salema set up organic baked goods. Mom regulated. Dawn looked out. Rollers out of my hair. Let's go. Welcome. Icebreaker broke the ice. Small groups formed. Dialogue. Engagement. Interaction. Laughs. Smiles. Broke down the blended learning experience. Level 1 - Explorer. Level 2 - Pathfinder. Level 3 - Go-Getter. Face-to-face. Webinar. Online Lesson. Virtual Resource Library. One-on-one coaching. It's called Blended Learning. Challenge Me to Grow. gonegirlgo™ 

Here's some of what they had to say about the experience:


"Experience was awesome. I came expecting good things and I got it..." 


"I think that CMTG has made me look deeper into myself. There are some things that I have not thought about and the stations were thought provoking."


"Great start! This is wonderful - you did it! I am proud of you. I think that each station was good - however to do them as presented, more time is needed - or less reading - one idea is to provide the reading ahead of time & have people bring their thoughts to the program. It was hard to give the reading the attention it needed to get the most of it. I love the format & variety of activities - music etc."


"Just continue to challenge women to grow. Very well presented and organized."


"The mind map concept and the sharing is excellent for encouraging women to step out. A very needed concept."


"So thankful to have been invited. I feel the Lord is constantly showing/putting people & things in my life to motivate me to push to my highest potential. This experience is definitely one of them. Love the interaction with all of the ladies."


"I am so inspired to be a part of this movement that I am buying one of the packages."


"The purse I have costs more than what you are charging. This service is invaluable."


If you are curious about Challenge Me to Grow, join the gonegirlgo™ team for a repeat Kick-Off on Tuesday, April 10. Let us know if you can't make it. We are working on options for you too. Here's the link to register: http://ggg-cmtg.eventsbot.com.


Peace

WHAT REALLY FEELS GOOD TO ME...

I am fond of Seth Godin. He has written a dozen of bestsellers. He is pushing forward a non traditional publishing movement under The Domino Project. He founded and runs Squidoo.com. I think I like him most because He blogs everyday - simple, brief and brilliant thinking about working, living, and being in the digital age (that sums it up to me, but my little synopsis doesn't do his blog justice). Today's post really resonated with me. It's titled Confidence without Guts. If you are reading this post, go back and click on the link to Seth's post and read it now.


What he communicates so simply in this post is exactly how I feel about pushing forward so that I can go. This Saturday is the Kick-Off of the Challenge Me to Grow experience. I could have simply put it off another couple of months, or cancelled it. I could have ignored that tingling sensation in the bottom of my toes when the idea first popped into my head. I could have allowed the negative self-talk to outweigh the positive self-talk and the encouragement from others. I could have walked without faith. 

A lil sneak peak

Instead I chose to have guts. I chose to push forward and go. I am not sure of the outcome. People tell me that they are coming, but you know how that goes. I don't have all the answers. I am not perfect. But I am confident that the experience will touch someone, maybe even a few. That's my motivation to have guts.  Even if I fail or don't do anything else with the movement, having Confidence with Guts feels good.


Peace

THE DILEMMA OF THE PARADOX

I enrolled in school last year after my bout with unemployment. I decided that I needed to upgrade and retool my skills. It's a challenge, but it's good for me as a learning and development professional to keep building my knowledge and honing my skills, especially considering how much technology has impacted the field over the past decade.

Anyway, I am in the process of writing a paper about the importance of course evaluations, not a particularly an exciting topic, but nonetheless I gotta write it. During my research, I found an article entitled, Paradoxes of Online Teaching by Bair and Bair. It's an interesting examination of the contradictions that the authors experience as online instructors. These contradictions or paradoxes are defined "as being the coexistence of two competing truths" (2011, p. 5). They go on further to say that these two competing truths create discord for individuals experiencing them. 




This is my favorite paradox!

 Paradoxes have been intriguing me for a while. I remember reading articles about them when I was in CSU's Diversity Management Program. The paradox of diversity is one of my favorite concepts. I even wrote about paradox in my journal back in 2009:

I realize that life is a balance or struggle (depending on my frame of mind that day) between polar opposites. I vacillate between:

black and white

shades of gray and a rainbow of colors

better and worse

loneliness and togetherness

generosity and selfishness

grace and impatience

inactivity and creativity

satisfaction and dissatisfaction

empty and full

just doing it and staying stuck

sitting and standing

stillness and noise

boredom and fun

disgust and pleasure

sweet aroma and funk

trusting God and not trusting God

Here's my point. I write this blog to make meaning of my experience as I push this movement forward. Right now I'm feeling the dilemma of the paradox. It keeps emerging and it keeps me up at night. Since pushing this movement forward, I have been dealing with these paradoxes:

• HARD BUT FUN - I wrote about this after my trip to Vegas. Life is fun but hard. As much as I want to have fun, I need hard if I am going to grow.  
• SLOW AND FAST - Every time I think about the fact that this movement started in January, I am amazed. Things have happened quite fast. But on the other hand, there are things that I think are happening too slow. I see the big picture, but I can't seem to catch up to it.
• BIG PICTURE AND SMALL CHUNKS - I will be introducing the Challenge Me to Grow Experience next Saturday. While I saw the big picture of the experience a while ago (OK maybe a month or so ago), I still wrestle with the small chunks. I'm good at focusing on the big picture, but I can't let the big picture be my sole focus. I have to attend to the small chunks in order for the big picture to come into fruition. My discord comes into play because there are a lot of small chunks. 
• PRIVATE AND PUBLIC - I have decided to let others in my head. My private thoughts are now public. It's risky, but it keeps me grounded and accountable. That might seem goofy to some, but trust me...if I didn't share this, I wouldn't have pushed anything forward. I would be laying in my bed every night watching foreign movies and not pushing any of my ideas forward.
• DREAMING AND DOING - It's always been easy for me to dream, but hard for me to do. And the reason I didn't push forward was because I didn't want to fail. I didn't want to be haunted by my dreams that I thought would turn into nightmares. Now I am dreaming and doing both at the same time. I don't let the thought of failure haunt me as much. It creeps up every now and then, but it hasn't made me stop in my tracks. To me that's an accomplishment.
• NEEDING HELP AND NOT WANTING HELP -  Need I say more.

There are a couple of random paradoxes that I won't bother to mention. I'll just deal with them privately. The dilemma of the paradox is a cleansing experience for me. It is helps me to adjust to the uncertainities that exist in life. It helps me realize that life can't be "perfect", but it can be just as it is. After all of this thinking, I still don't have any answers or resolutions. I might have a little more understanding and that is fine with me.

Peace

CONFESSIONS OF A LIFE LONG LEARNER



My Nana 
Mattie Estelle Mason
1921 - 2009
Graduate of Tennessee State University 



Even before I was aware of the term life long learner, I embraced it. I was the little girl who always wanted to "play school", read National Geographic magazines for hours, explore every inch of the tree in my backyard, and organize others to conquer something. As I grew older, I tried desperately to ignore my fascination with the teaching and learning process and the fact that I came from a long line of female educators. (A special note to self: Nana's legacy to me was her value of education. She was the quintessential teacher. I will always love her for that.)  I didn't want to be a teacher so I decided to major in Communications and minor in Education. My goal was to become a children's television producer and work for Sesame Street.

That, of course, did not happen. I ended up in the field of early childhood education, then mysteriously was led to the field of adult learning and development. I realize now that I was destined to be who I am - a life long learner (and a teacher). I enjoy learning through books, and now the internet. Learning this way comes easy to me.


Learning through life experiences is a different story. It's not easy, and I don't like it, but I have come to appreciate it. I mean, I think that I really have learned from my errors, bad choices, goofy decisions, and other experiences that life has offered me. And I am cool with my life experiences because without them, I would just be a learned fool. As I claim my inner nerd, I also claim my relationship to the school of hard knocks. Here's a few lessons that hard knocks have taught me since pushing forward this movement:

• NEVER JUDGE A BOOK BY IT'S COVER. I have met lots of interesting, motivating, creative, and determined individuals since beginning this movement. Not that I hadn't met these types of people before, but I think that I am able to connect more authentically with them because I am trying hard not to judge them at face value. Terre and I had a dynamic discussion about this a few weeks ago. She asked me what I thought about first impressions while brainstorming for an article she was writing for an online magazine. I shared that it was important that I didn't allow my filters (the way I see the world based on my experiences, assumptions, and expectations) to get in the way of making authentic connections with others because those filters can hinder both relationship and community building. (BTW - Terre's article will be out next month. Follow her on Twitter @terreholmes.)
• HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS AND SUPPORTIVE COMMUNITIES ARE ESSENTIAL. How can I push forward and go when I am in an unhealthy relationship or belong to an unsupportive community? I have to have healthy relationships and belong to supportive communities because they both help me push forward. Relationship and community building are risky, hard, and unnerving processes, but at the same time essential processes. We are all prone to lie, cheat, and steal. We are human. And there is a level of protection that we all need against ourselves. But I am also learning that we thrive when we encourage, motivate, and inspire. These happen within the context of healthy relationships and supportive communities and I need them both!
• LIFE WON'T STOP HAPPENING. Sometimes life makes it challenging for me to push forward my ideas and go. I'm learning how to deal with the hard and regular aspects of my life a little better. I wish that some hard and regular aspects of my life would instantly disappear, but that's not being realistic. So I just have to buckle down, be clear about what I want to accomplish, get organized, and delegate responsibilities to my kids. (I just created the Davis-Bolden-Brown Family Task List and I am going to make sure that my little family follows it religiously!!!!!)
• JUGGLE LESS. It's not like I can just put all other balls aside and concentrate solely on juggling gonegirlgo™.

My life has become an intense juggling act that has unfortunately resulted in in some balls falling on the floor. I only have two hands. And there are only a certain number of hours in the day that I can juggle. I try not to feel guilty about dropping them as I scoop them up and continue the juggling act. But some of these balls have to go. The hard part is deciding which ones. 

 

I have been thinking about my Nana a lot lately. She was a phenomenal woman.

• She juggled lots of balls
• She didn't jump off the world when it started spinning too fast
• She tried to maintain both healthy relationships and supportive communities
• She accepted people for who they were
• And most importantly, she was a life long learner (and teacher)

Thank you Nana for leaving that legacy with me. I'm grateful that I have you to remember as I push forward and go.


Peace

WHAT HAPPENS WHEN I AM FLEXIBLE, FLUID & FREE

This movement continues to unfold. Again, not easy, smooth, or quick, but then again, maybe I should rethink quick. This movement was introduced in January. Its March. Wow. Things have happened a little more quickly than I realized. (I am amazed, honored, and reflective about this...)


So here's the next idea that I have been wrestling with. I knew it would involve the marriage of my career, training and development to my passion and purpose, this movement. What I thought I was going to do initially and solely was this really cool online learning program. I was so pumped about it that I set up a complimentary webinar to introduce the online experience, sent it out to about 30 friends, and only received 2 registrations! Of course, I was crushed and my little feelings were hurt. But not for long. I knew I had something to bring to the table. I knew that what I had to offer would be beneficial so I decided to regroup, push forward a little more, and try another approach.


I also continued to rethink the learning approach itself. Here are a few thoughts that I wrestled with: Maybe folks didn't understand what I meant by an online learning experience. Maybe they need face to face interaction first. Maybe they don't get the movement at all. Maybe they don't care. This dreadful conversation that I had with myself could have stopped me in my tracks, but it didn't. This movement was given to me to go and make impact. If only a few get it, are excited by it, and want to learn from it, then I am doing what I am supposed to do.


So the learning experience has to be relevant, meaningful, understandable, and affordable. It has to address the needs of a variety of women. And most importantly it has to challenge them to grow!


Looks like rethinking is a necessary part of pushing forward so that I can go. I have to be flexible, fluid, and free to listen to others and accept their advice. As a result of rethinking flexibly, fluidly, and freely, I'm ready to go with the next idea...


If you live in the Cleveland area and have a couple of hours the morning of March 24, then join me for the Challenge Me to Grow Experience: The Kick Off! It will be an introduction to the total learning experience and I will also facilitate an exciting exercise guaranteed to challenge you to grow! Details about the kick off and official registration are here:
www.gonegirlgo_cmtg.eventsbot.com. I'm still praying, pushing, rethinking, and loving every minute of it!




Peace


(typed this on my iPhone...what a challenge but I feel good about getting this one out!)


Peace some more
Z

SILENT MODE (BUT NOT REALLY)

I am trying not to feel guilty about being in silent mode this week. I have a few posts in the hopper, but right now I don't have the time to hash them out. I've been busy working behind the scenes getting some things in order. I am working hard to push gonegirlgo™ to another level. Remember in a previous post I mentioned that I have to balance dreaming and doing. Well, I'm doing and I can't wait until it finishes unfolding! Right now, this is all that I can share. 

Soon and very soon, an announcement will be made about an upcoming event so stay tuned!

Peace

LIFE IS FUN BUT HARD BUT FUN BUT HARD...

I took a little break from the routine this past weekend to celebrate my sister Nikki's 30th birthday. A much anticipated celebration was planned (or so I thought) way before the birth of gonegirlgo™. While I was excited about my first trip to Vegas, I struggled with stepping away because the movement was gaining momentum. I really didn't want to step away, but then again, I wanted to celebrate with my family. Those of you who know us know that we love to have lots of fun! Anyway, Niyia, a wise young woman made my decision easy by telling me that gonegirlgo™ was not like a "backpack" that I just put on and take off. It is me and it goes where I go. So despite all of the activity around me, I thought a lot and learned some valuable lessons relative to this movement while celebrating in Vegas.

• Life can be fun but hard at the same time. Experience has taught me that fun doesn't challenge me to grow. Hard does. I can make the fun part last as long as I want, but at some point I am going to have to do the hard part too, especially if I want to grow (this is not intended to be a joke, but it is funny). Unfortunately, folks give up on life because of the hard part, but would rather push forward to always have fun. They are missing an opportunity for growth and balance. (My speculation is that these people love places like Vegas. As for this lil' mama, enough was enough. I'm good with my fun but hard life!) 
• Some folks have a difficult time accepting the hand that they have been dealt. I wonder what would happen if they didn't get hung up on how "bad" their hand was. What would happen if they pushed forward with that "bad" hand and decided to go make impact with it anyway? What would happen if they stopped gambling away their time because they felt that they didn't have what it takes to win? What if they changed their minds and realized that the hand that they have been dealt was given to them for a reason?
• I couldn't pound the pavement in my high heels that long in Vegas. I hated abdicating my super powers, but I had to for the sake of my feet.
• People from around the world push forward to live in the United States so that they can go. And we are mad at them, but won't push forward and go ourselves.

Who told my mother to throw up deuces?

Believe it or not, despite all my thinking, I had lots of fun celebrating with my family. (And that part will stay in Vegas.) I would not have missed this trip for anything in the world. It's just hard for me to put on and take off gonegirlgo™. It is me. It goes where I go.


Peace




And I can't forget...Happy Birthday Nikki!!!!! 

GAMES WE STILL PLAY



I never figured out what
"Yellow Light" meant.



Do you remember playing "Red Light, Green Light" when you were little? I do. As a little rambunctious girl, I played that game a lot on E.151st and Harvard. A group of us would line up some feet away from the kid who shouted "Red Light!Green Light!" When he shouted "Green Light!", we would run as fast as we could to reach him, but as soon as he shouted "Red Light!", we would stop in our tracks. This would go on until one of us tagged the shouting kid first. Who made this game up? And what was this game all about? Why did we think that playing this game was actual fun? I am not sure. I guess we liked the idea of following somebody's commands until we reached our destination. We were some funny kids back in the day.

And we are some funny adults because now we play this game against ourselves. As soon as somebody shouts, "Red Light!", we put the brakes on with the quickness. Finally, when we hear "Green Light!"  we stand still, look around, and question if we even heard "Green Light!" at all. We forget about the destination and settle in right where we are.


I haven't been standing still lately, but I realize that getting the green light doesn't mean that my journey will be easy, things will fall into place, and the ride will be smooth. It also might mean that I won't reach my destination so quickly. Easy, smooth, and quick have not been the case so far. I tweeted  earlier this week, "I had no clue how hard it would be giving birth to an idea until the labor pains started. Now I'm pushing forward really hard." As I am pushing forward with my theme song playing in the background, "I'm ready to go right now..." I have to:

• Unlearn old habits like engaging in negative self talk, procrastinating, downplaying my strengths, and focusing on my weaknesses
• Stick to my vision for this movement and filter out well intended messages that may not line up with my vision
• Pace myself and avoid the tendency to want to move too fast (Note to Self: I have to remember that the movement is not gonegirlrun. I have to go, but not at a rapid pace. Pushing forward is movement and maybe momentum, but not speed.)

This past Sunday, I spent my evening with a group of strong, intelligent, and motivated women who are making things happen in their lives and in the lives of others. That sacred space lasted for a short time, but what it did for me was helped me to rethink the green light I was given (more on building relationship and community in another post). Thanks ladies - Sharron, Niyia, Rhonda, Terre, and Dawn. I am thinking, praying, planning, and pushing. Thanks Mommy for your love and support. I need it. And the rest of you who are down for this movement, I am grateful to you as well.


I'm pounding the pavement in my really high heels with my theme song playing in the background, "I'm ready to go right now..."

Peace

Prayers and warm thoughts are extended to Whitney Houston's family and loved ones. They've got to miss her, but they have her legacy. Actually we all do. And what a legacy it is! 

REAL TALK PART II

I am actually pushing forward and going. I thank God for the satisfaction that it brings. Over the past month and a half, I have executed an idea that I have had on my mind for years. I am in the process of preparing to execute another idea in the Spring. But how is it that today, I can't help but feel a tinge of discontentment. Looks like it's time for another REAL TALK.

I'm torn with expressing discontentment because it feels like I am whining. I hate whining and for the most part, I am not a whiner. I really don't have anything to whine about! I just got something going on inside that makes me feel like being a little whiny baby right now. That whiny baby in me says:

Peace.

Maybe it's that notion of perfection that keeps peaking its head around the corners of my mind. Or could it be that challenge of time that I keep racing against? It could also be that bomb of impatience that keeps exploding in my soul. It's hard to ignore those relentless imps, my weaknesses and failures, that constantly remind me that they are real and that they exist.

Jeesh! I had to get that out! My main goal in all of this is to be encouraging to others. Looks like today I need some encouragement myself. Thank God I know where to push forward and go for the encouragement that I need! I'm out!