OK. NO STRESS.

Workshop design finalized on Monday. Made copies on Tuesday and Wednesday. Thursday all is well. Friday. Anxiety. Uncertainty. Fear of the Unknown. No projector. Ok. No stress. Got projector and other last minute items. Late night Friday. Early rise Saturday. Wanted everything to be just right. Ok. No Stress. Hadn't finished some minor things. Ok. No stress. Got in the shower later than anticipated. Ok. No stress. Arrived on time. No time to set up. Folks arrived early. Ok. No stress. We all pitched in to set up the room. Salema set up organic baked goods. Mom regulated. Dawn looked out. Rollers out of my hair. Let's go. Welcome. Icebreaker broke the ice. Small groups formed. Dialogue. Engagement. Interaction. Laughs. Smiles. Broke down the blended learning experience. Level 1 - Explorer. Level 2 - Pathfinder. Level 3 - Go-Getter. Face-to-face. Webinar. Online Lesson. Virtual Resource Library. One-on-one coaching. It's called Blended Learning. Challenge Me to Grow. gonegirlgo™ 

Here's some of what they had to say about the experience:


"Experience was awesome. I came expecting good things and I got it..." 


"I think that CMTG has made me look deeper into myself. There are some things that I have not thought about and the stations were thought provoking."


"Great start! This is wonderful - you did it! I am proud of you. I think that each station was good - however to do them as presented, more time is needed - or less reading - one idea is to provide the reading ahead of time & have people bring their thoughts to the program. It was hard to give the reading the attention it needed to get the most of it. I love the format & variety of activities - music etc."


"Just continue to challenge women to grow. Very well presented and organized."


"The mind map concept and the sharing is excellent for encouraging women to step out. A very needed concept."


"So thankful to have been invited. I feel the Lord is constantly showing/putting people & things in my life to motivate me to push to my highest potential. This experience is definitely one of them. Love the interaction with all of the ladies."


"I am so inspired to be a part of this movement that I am buying one of the packages."


"The purse I have costs more than what you are charging. This service is invaluable."


If you are curious about Challenge Me to Grow, join the gonegirlgo™ team for a repeat Kick-Off on Tuesday, April 10. Let us know if you can't make it. We are working on options for you too. Here's the link to register: http://ggg-cmtg.eventsbot.com.


Peace

WHAT REALLY FEELS GOOD TO ME...

I am fond of Seth Godin. He has written a dozen of bestsellers. He is pushing forward a non traditional publishing movement under The Domino Project. He founded and runs Squidoo.com. I think I like him most because He blogs everyday - simple, brief and brilliant thinking about working, living, and being in the digital age (that sums it up to me, but my little synopsis doesn't do his blog justice). Today's post really resonated with me. It's titled Confidence without Guts. If you are reading this post, go back and click on the link to Seth's post and read it now.


What he communicates so simply in this post is exactly how I feel about pushing forward so that I can go. This Saturday is the Kick-Off of the Challenge Me to Grow experience. I could have simply put it off another couple of months, or cancelled it. I could have ignored that tingling sensation in the bottom of my toes when the idea first popped into my head. I could have allowed the negative self-talk to outweigh the positive self-talk and the encouragement from others. I could have walked without faith. 

A lil sneak peak

Instead I chose to have guts. I chose to push forward and go. I am not sure of the outcome. People tell me that they are coming, but you know how that goes. I don't have all the answers. I am not perfect. But I am confident that the experience will touch someone, maybe even a few. That's my motivation to have guts.  Even if I fail or don't do anything else with the movement, having Confidence with Guts feels good.


Peace

THE DILEMMA OF THE PARADOX

I enrolled in school last year after my bout with unemployment. I decided that I needed to upgrade and retool my skills. It's a challenge, but it's good for me as a learning and development professional to keep building my knowledge and honing my skills, especially considering how much technology has impacted the field over the past decade.

Anyway, I am in the process of writing a paper about the importance of course evaluations, not a particularly an exciting topic, but nonetheless I gotta write it. During my research, I found an article entitled, Paradoxes of Online Teaching by Bair and Bair. It's an interesting examination of the contradictions that the authors experience as online instructors. These contradictions or paradoxes are defined "as being the coexistence of two competing truths" (2011, p. 5). They go on further to say that these two competing truths create discord for individuals experiencing them. 




This is my favorite paradox!

 Paradoxes have been intriguing me for a while. I remember reading articles about them when I was in CSU's Diversity Management Program. The paradox of diversity is one of my favorite concepts. I even wrote about paradox in my journal back in 2009:

I realize that life is a balance or struggle (depending on my frame of mind that day) between polar opposites. I vacillate between:

black and white

shades of gray and a rainbow of colors

better and worse

loneliness and togetherness

generosity and selfishness

grace and impatience

inactivity and creativity

satisfaction and dissatisfaction

empty and full

just doing it and staying stuck

sitting and standing

stillness and noise

boredom and fun

disgust and pleasure

sweet aroma and funk

trusting God and not trusting God

Here's my point. I write this blog to make meaning of my experience as I push this movement forward. Right now I'm feeling the dilemma of the paradox. It keeps emerging and it keeps me up at night. Since pushing this movement forward, I have been dealing with these paradoxes:

• HARD BUT FUN - I wrote about this after my trip to Vegas. Life is fun but hard. As much as I want to have fun, I need hard if I am going to grow.  
• SLOW AND FAST - Every time I think about the fact that this movement started in January, I am amazed. Things have happened quite fast. But on the other hand, there are things that I think are happening too slow. I see the big picture, but I can't seem to catch up to it.
• BIG PICTURE AND SMALL CHUNKS - I will be introducing the Challenge Me to Grow Experience next Saturday. While I saw the big picture of the experience a while ago (OK maybe a month or so ago), I still wrestle with the small chunks. I'm good at focusing on the big picture, but I can't let the big picture be my sole focus. I have to attend to the small chunks in order for the big picture to come into fruition. My discord comes into play because there are a lot of small chunks. 
• PRIVATE AND PUBLIC - I have decided to let others in my head. My private thoughts are now public. It's risky, but it keeps me grounded and accountable. That might seem goofy to some, but trust me...if I didn't share this, I wouldn't have pushed anything forward. I would be laying in my bed every night watching foreign movies and not pushing any of my ideas forward.
• DREAMING AND DOING - It's always been easy for me to dream, but hard for me to do. And the reason I didn't push forward was because I didn't want to fail. I didn't want to be haunted by my dreams that I thought would turn into nightmares. Now I am dreaming and doing both at the same time. I don't let the thought of failure haunt me as much. It creeps up every now and then, but it hasn't made me stop in my tracks. To me that's an accomplishment.
• NEEDING HELP AND NOT WANTING HELP -  Need I say more.

There are a couple of random paradoxes that I won't bother to mention. I'll just deal with them privately. The dilemma of the paradox is a cleansing experience for me. It is helps me to adjust to the uncertainities that exist in life. It helps me realize that life can't be "perfect", but it can be just as it is. After all of this thinking, I still don't have any answers or resolutions. I might have a little more understanding and that is fine with me.

Peace

CONFESSIONS OF A LIFE LONG LEARNER



My Nana 
Mattie Estelle Mason
1921 - 2009
Graduate of Tennessee State University 



Even before I was aware of the term life long learner, I embraced it. I was the little girl who always wanted to "play school", read National Geographic magazines for hours, explore every inch of the tree in my backyard, and organize others to conquer something. As I grew older, I tried desperately to ignore my fascination with the teaching and learning process and the fact that I came from a long line of female educators. (A special note to self: Nana's legacy to me was her value of education. She was the quintessential teacher. I will always love her for that.)  I didn't want to be a teacher so I decided to major in Communications and minor in Education. My goal was to become a children's television producer and work for Sesame Street.

That, of course, did not happen. I ended up in the field of early childhood education, then mysteriously was led to the field of adult learning and development. I realize now that I was destined to be who I am - a life long learner (and a teacher). I enjoy learning through books, and now the internet. Learning this way comes easy to me.


Learning through life experiences is a different story. It's not easy, and I don't like it, but I have come to appreciate it. I mean, I think that I really have learned from my errors, bad choices, goofy decisions, and other experiences that life has offered me. And I am cool with my life experiences because without them, I would just be a learned fool. As I claim my inner nerd, I also claim my relationship to the school of hard knocks. Here's a few lessons that hard knocks have taught me since pushing forward this movement:

• NEVER JUDGE A BOOK BY IT'S COVER. I have met lots of interesting, motivating, creative, and determined individuals since beginning this movement. Not that I hadn't met these types of people before, but I think that I am able to connect more authentically with them because I am trying hard not to judge them at face value. Terre and I had a dynamic discussion about this a few weeks ago. She asked me what I thought about first impressions while brainstorming for an article she was writing for an online magazine. I shared that it was important that I didn't allow my filters (the way I see the world based on my experiences, assumptions, and expectations) to get in the way of making authentic connections with others because those filters can hinder both relationship and community building. (BTW - Terre's article will be out next month. Follow her on Twitter @terreholmes.)
• HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS AND SUPPORTIVE COMMUNITIES ARE ESSENTIAL. How can I push forward and go when I am in an unhealthy relationship or belong to an unsupportive community? I have to have healthy relationships and belong to supportive communities because they both help me push forward. Relationship and community building are risky, hard, and unnerving processes, but at the same time essential processes. We are all prone to lie, cheat, and steal. We are human. And there is a level of protection that we all need against ourselves. But I am also learning that we thrive when we encourage, motivate, and inspire. These happen within the context of healthy relationships and supportive communities and I need them both!
• LIFE WON'T STOP HAPPENING. Sometimes life makes it challenging for me to push forward my ideas and go. I'm learning how to deal with the hard and regular aspects of my life a little better. I wish that some hard and regular aspects of my life would instantly disappear, but that's not being realistic. So I just have to buckle down, be clear about what I want to accomplish, get organized, and delegate responsibilities to my kids. (I just created the Davis-Bolden-Brown Family Task List and I am going to make sure that my little family follows it religiously!!!!!)
• JUGGLE LESS. It's not like I can just put all other balls aside and concentrate solely on juggling gonegirlgo™.

My life has become an intense juggling act that has unfortunately resulted in in some balls falling on the floor. I only have two hands. And there are only a certain number of hours in the day that I can juggle. I try not to feel guilty about dropping them as I scoop them up and continue the juggling act. But some of these balls have to go. The hard part is deciding which ones. 

 

I have been thinking about my Nana a lot lately. She was a phenomenal woman.

• She juggled lots of balls
• She didn't jump off the world when it started spinning too fast
• She tried to maintain both healthy relationships and supportive communities
• She accepted people for who they were
• And most importantly, she was a life long learner (and teacher)

Thank you Nana for leaving that legacy with me. I'm grateful that I have you to remember as I push forward and go.


Peace

WHAT HAPPENS WHEN I AM FLEXIBLE, FLUID & FREE

This movement continues to unfold. Again, not easy, smooth, or quick, but then again, maybe I should rethink quick. This movement was introduced in January. Its March. Wow. Things have happened a little more quickly than I realized. (I am amazed, honored, and reflective about this...)


So here's the next idea that I have been wrestling with. I knew it would involve the marriage of my career, training and development to my passion and purpose, this movement. What I thought I was going to do initially and solely was this really cool online learning program. I was so pumped about it that I set up a complimentary webinar to introduce the online experience, sent it out to about 30 friends, and only received 2 registrations! Of course, I was crushed and my little feelings were hurt. But not for long. I knew I had something to bring to the table. I knew that what I had to offer would be beneficial so I decided to regroup, push forward a little more, and try another approach.


I also continued to rethink the learning approach itself. Here are a few thoughts that I wrestled with: Maybe folks didn't understand what I meant by an online learning experience. Maybe they need face to face interaction first. Maybe they don't get the movement at all. Maybe they don't care. This dreadful conversation that I had with myself could have stopped me in my tracks, but it didn't. This movement was given to me to go and make impact. If only a few get it, are excited by it, and want to learn from it, then I am doing what I am supposed to do.


So the learning experience has to be relevant, meaningful, understandable, and affordable. It has to address the needs of a variety of women. And most importantly it has to challenge them to grow!


Looks like rethinking is a necessary part of pushing forward so that I can go. I have to be flexible, fluid, and free to listen to others and accept their advice. As a result of rethinking flexibly, fluidly, and freely, I'm ready to go with the next idea...


If you live in the Cleveland area and have a couple of hours the morning of March 24, then join me for the Challenge Me to Grow Experience: The Kick Off! It will be an introduction to the total learning experience and I will also facilitate an exciting exercise guaranteed to challenge you to grow! Details about the kick off and official registration are here:
www.gonegirlgo_cmtg.eventsbot.com. I'm still praying, pushing, rethinking, and loving every minute of it!




Peace


(typed this on my iPhone...what a challenge but I feel good about getting this one out!)


Peace some more
Z

SILENT MODE (BUT NOT REALLY)

I am trying not to feel guilty about being in silent mode this week. I have a few posts in the hopper, but right now I don't have the time to hash them out. I've been busy working behind the scenes getting some things in order. I am working hard to push gonegirlgo™ to another level. Remember in a previous post I mentioned that I have to balance dreaming and doing. Well, I'm doing and I can't wait until it finishes unfolding! Right now, this is all that I can share. 

Soon and very soon, an announcement will be made about an upcoming event so stay tuned!

Peace