A New Home - www.gonegirlgo.com

The past few months have been amazing. I started this journey in January 2012 not sure of where I would go or what would be.

I never thought in a million years that a simple phrase would come to mean so much.

I remember when I started designing the logo. I had the idea that these words would have energy and movement behind them. I'm no graphic designer, but I was determined to keep communicating, designing, and sharing until it became what it was supposed to become.

Initial Logo

Current Logo

When I look back at the first draft of the logo, I laugh but I also smile. You gotta start somewhere.  

The emergence and growth of GoneGirlGo signified a turning point in my life. It was time for me to do things differently. It was time for me stop being scared. It was time for me to lean into discomfort. It was time for  me to challenge myself to grow.

My hope is that GoneGirlGo has come to mean something to you as well. You may not have participated in the learning experience Challenge Me to Grow. You may have only read one blog post. You may skimmed some of my tweets or Facebook posts. You may have wondered what was this all about. You may have thought it was not for you. But somewhere in your wondering, you got something. Something stuck. You made a connection. You felt what I feel every time I say GoneGirlGo.

Well, I couldn't stop here. I had to keep going. God put more in my heart about this than I realized.  I've been working on clarifying the message. I've been working on creating a virtual home for the movement. I have been working on something just for you.

I am honored to share with you the GoneGirlGo website.

Blogspot was a proving ground for me. I have never done anything like this before, but because I was eager to learn and do something new, I began to feel confident that I could advance to another level. I am using WordPress for the new site and it has been a journey. I'm not a web developer or all that technical so some of this was hard. But once I got over my fear, I was able to figure things out. (Well at least enough so I could actually publish a basic website.)

Right now the website contains just a few tools to encourage you to push forward your ideas and go impact the world.

• There's a calendar with strategies to make your M-W-F a GoneGirlGo kind of day.
• There's a Challenge Me to Grow Resource of the Month for you to download for free.
• There's all of the blog posts from this site.

And there's much more to come. You can look forward to more content, more connection, more community. There's even a Facebook page where we can extend our dialogue, share our stories, encourage one another, and challenge each other to grow.

Do me a favor. Keep this in mind. I'm still trying to figure things out. This is a work that will always be in progress. It will never be finished. And that's o.k. with me. (Cause when it's finished it's over.) Do me another favor. When you visit the new site, make sure to subscribe by email. It's simple.

So explore the new home of GoneGirlGo. Click, read, suggest, think, explore, comment, connect, and share. It's a place where you are welcome to be and become who you are.

Peace

This site will remain open, but I will no longer post anything here after this. (I'm kinda sad...)

LIVING THE GONEGIRLGO LIFE: LATORIA

I started Cleveland State University’s Diversity Management Program back in 2000 with DMP 3. Needless to say, I didn’t finish until 2007. I was distracted a little by life. I got the urge to go back so I ended up taking my last class with DMP 10. That’s when I met Tori. She was and still is a firecracker. Her energy, enthusiasm, and love for God, makes me smile. I wanna be like Tori when I grow up.  Enough said. Here’s her story:

In 2007, Cultivating Pearl, LLC was just a vision to a young lady in her early 20’s. I could literally see communities of women looking to live a life free from their past, who were ready and relentless to pursue authenticity. Although my vision lived inside of me, it never seemed to actually come forward. It took me years after my first attempt to launch Cultivating Pearl.

My first proposal was to my ministry leader at the church I attended at the time. She passed my proposal to our First Lady which I just knew was a good sign. That meeting left me very discouraged. I was told I wasn’t ready to take on something so big, and to be honest, at that time they were right.

I went on years after, steady writing and planning to someday see my burning passion birthed. It seemed that every time I attempted to move forward in what I knew was purposed to do, I ran into brick wall after brick wall. I was told everything from my vision was too big to we’re not going to be able to help you.

One day it hit me! I was looking for validation from people and organizations that had absolutely nothing to do with what I was responsible for contributing to the world. It wasn’t until I realized that my vision was just that….MINE. No one else would be able to see it quite the way I do because it belonged to me. I had to sit down and have a heart to heart with myself. It went something like this:

“Alright Tori listen, not only do you have the credentials to do this but you have the experience, your heart is in the right place, and you are passionate about what you do. Tori you can do this! Stop looking for people to validate you.”

No one can permit you to do what you were born to do. As of June 2012 Cultivating Pearl, LLC is no longer kicking me in the middle of the night. It is alive and well. If you are reading this knowing that you have something inside of you that has passed its due date, do the world a favor and GoneGirlGo! We are all waiting to receive what only you have to offer.

Latoria Polite, MA, CDP

Check out Cultivating Pearl at http://cultivatingpearls.onsugar.com/. Tori offers fresh perspective and insight into relationships, pursuing your purpose, esteem, style, and much more. Follow Cultivating Pearl on Twitter @P_E_A_R_Life . She does these Twitter chats that focus on relevant topics (even though I’m Twitter challenged, I try to participate!) Like her on Facebook too at https://www.facebook.com/pages/Cultivating-Pearl-llc/186286648078110.

Peace.

SO HERE I AM.

Isn't it amazing the number of seasons we go through during our lifetime?  From the womb to the innocence of childhood, then onto the adventure of adulthood – life is a truly amazing journey. Like I’ve said before, life is fun but hard and I am convinced that in order to fully experience all that life has to offer, you have to have both. The hard parts of life should challenge you to grow.

Recently I have been in a constant cycle of being challenged to grow.  Shifting my career focus has challenged me to grow.  Being a parent to older children has challenged me to grow. Working in an actual office has challenged me to grow. Wrestling with relationships has challenged me to grow. And of course, pushing forward GoneGirlGo has challenged me to grow.

SO HERE I AM. 

In another season of life, being challenged to take what started out as a simple blog to another level. This territory is VERY unknown to me. I'm a fish out of water, but I'm determined to figure it all out. I will be launching gonegirlgo.com very soon. I’m nervous, satisfied, overwhelmed, and curious all at the same time.

1. I’m nervous because I’m new to all of this and I know that I will make some mistakes.
2. I’m satisfied that I haven’t reached my destination yet, but I have embraced where I am on this journey – the beginning.
3. I’m overwhelmed because I have to work a 9 to 5 in order to keep pushing this movement forward.
4. I’m curious to know what is right now unknown. I'm curious to know how you will receive gonegirlgo.com.

I'm packing my bags and getting ready
to move to a new site. 

You can help me deal with all of these emotions by doing me a favor.  I created a brief survey to get your feedback about gonegirlgo.com. Your comments on the blog, Facebook and Twitter have meant a lot to me. I want to make sure that I keep listening to what you say.  Click here to complete the short survey.

I will keep you posted on the move of GoneGirlGo to its new home. It will be within the next couple of weeks. I really want you to continue the journey with me so that we can keep challenging each other to grow. 

As always, peace.

THE PERFECT PLATFORM TO STAND ON

I wrote this in 1996 to describe how I experienced life as a big ideas thinker:

Thoughts explode in my mind while I am trying to sleep causing urges of insomnia.

Guilt collides into my being because of these exploding thoughts that I let turn into duds.

I remember feeling so disappointed in myself because I wouldn’t execute my ideas.  And of course, that disappointment would turn into guilt and shame. It was very difficult walking around with all of that,but for years I chose to live with this because I refused to do anything with all those ideas that I had in my head. As a reformed big ideas thinker, I realize that being realistic is important and having a plan is critical, but being afraid to take an initial risk is ridiculous. My fear kept me bound and caused my big ideas to turn into duds.

What I am learning now is that having an idea isn’t enough. You have to have the guts.You have to have the wherewithal. You have to have stamina. You have to have a lot more than just a love of generating ideas.  Here’s what else I’ve discovered that you have to have to push forward your ideas:

THE PERFECT PLATFORM TO STAND ON!

A PLATFORM. As much as I love shoes, I can honestly say that I’m not referring to my favorite type of shoes (besideswedges, of course) – platforms.  The platform I’m referring to here is a belief that you can stand on. It includesyour message, your principles, your values that you want communicate to others. When I wrote my first blog, I didn’trealize that I was establishing a platform that encouraged idea execution. I was just sharing my experiences pushing forward my ideas. As I continued to explore the concepts and ideas that I came across, I realized that idea execution was my platform. Everything that gonegirlgo stands for relates to this very topic. You may have noticed that some of my Facebook postings and Tweets focus on motivating others to execute their ideas. Having a platform has helped shape the direction of the movement. I am able to focus on a central theme in my work rather than a several themes which for me can be overwhelming.  If you want to learn more about establishing a platform you should check out Michael Hyatt and his book, Platform: Get Noticed in a Noisy World.

A BIAS TOWARD ACTION.  ScottBelsky says “While you may enjoy generating brilliant ideas and imagining new possibilities, you must approach every occasion of creativity with a dose of skepticism and a bias toward action.” I must admit, I’m still developing in this area.  After years of not having a bias toward action, I will continue to say that there a few things that I need to unlearn so that I have a relentless bias toward action.  Here’s what I constantly tell myself - Keep working at it. Keep pursing organization. Keep demanding protection of your time. Keep reflecting on your behaviors. Keep trying to change. Keep honing your focus. Keep developing wherewithal. Keep connecting with others. Keep pushing forward. And of course, gonegirlgo.

A SOCIALMEDIA STRATEGY. I am a member of Generation X, roughly those of us who were born in the late 60’s through the early 80’s. We did not grow up with computers in the classroom. We weren’t even exposed to Myspace in high school like my own kids. Facebook became our social media tool of choice just a few years ago.  Don’t get me wrong, I love technology, but I’m a little late getting on the social media bandwagon. I actually fought against tweeting for 2 years!  Now, I see the potential social media has, especially as an informal learning tool. But I’m still perplexed. How do I wrap my head around so many different social media platforms? Which platform will serve my purpose? When do I have time to use any of these platforms? Because I am exploring how to develop an internet based business, I decided to secure a social media strategist. Matt’s been helping me sort it all out.

I’m on my way. I’m in no rush. I have a platform. I’m developing a relentless bias toward action. I’m considering ways to use social media. I’m pushing forward. And I’m grateful that I can, even now.

Peace 

WHAT'S ON MY HEART AND MY MIND

There are times when I wonder if people really know what this movement is about and do they really get it? My desire is to communicate with clarity and conviction that this movement is for a niche of women who need encouragement, support, resources, and tools to make their ideas happen.  Some may question "why women" or "why ideas"? Both of are connected to my story. If you go back and read my early posts, I think you'll get a sense of why I am so compelled to remain faithful to this niche. I believe that there are so many women out there like me who just need a little push.  A little word of encouragement.  A little spark.  A little peek into the unknown.  I hope these women are saying to themselves, “If Zoe is pushing forward her ideas then so can I.”

What started as a verbal affirmation is evolving into a conduit of support. As time goes by and the more I learn, I see this movement becoming more than what I ever thought it could be.  There’s just something about being in this mode of pushing ideas forward. I see possibilities. I see connections. I see things that I've never seen before.  This isn’t to say that I got it all together or have all the answers.  I get bogged down with my tendency to over analyze situations. I get distracted by my life. I get discouraged when things don’t go as planned.  I hate it when people are mean and find myself channeling Rodney King, “Can we all just get along?” (That’s a lot to carry, but I do and it gets heavy sometimes…anyway).  Despite these hurdles, there’s something that keeps me pushing forward. It’s inside of me and it won’t go away.

I don’t know why I started this post like this. It’s not what I intended to write about initially. I guess when you have something on your heart, no matter how hard you try to ignore that issue it’s bound to come out. Thanks for listening to what's on my heart. Now let me tell you what's on my mind.



THE 5 ESSENTIAL ACTIONS OF
CHALLENGE ME TO GROW



This post is really about a new tool that I found that really excites me. It’s a technique that can be used to address 2 of the Essential Actions of Challenge Me to Grow

• QUESTION THE IDEA
• MAP THE IDEA

It’s called Starbursting and it provides a framework for questioning your idea (or issue, problem, challenge, etc.).  The key to the technique is generating as many questions as you can about your idea without answering them. It’s supposed to help you understand the scope of your idea more fully. Learn more about the technique by clicking here: Starbursting - Brainstorming Techniques from MindTools.com.

I haven’t used it yet, but you know I will. And when I do, I will share my take on it. If you use it, please share your take too because I would love to hear how it helped you push your idea forward.

Peace

WHAT'S IN MY TREASURE-TROVE

I have been pushing forward this movement a little over six months. I still struggle with a few things. You know those self-imposed barriers that I have to unlearn before I can learn new habits?  Six months hasn't been long enough for me to overcome procrastination and follow-through, those biggies that I must continue to push out of my way.

I can say that I have learned a lot by connecting with people and being an avid explorer of the World Wide Web. There’s not a day that goes by when I don’t come across a cool resource, tool, or person.  So I thought I would share with you 5 GOLDEN NUGGETS that are in my treasure-trove.

1. The 99%  – In February, I goggled how to make your ideas happen and was led to this book, Making Ideas Happen. After I read the free portions of the book, I ordered it without hesitation. I was blown away by Scott Belsky and his ability to capture my thinking about pushing ideas forward. I clicked another link and ended up on The 99% - the think tank of Behance. The 99% is a treasure trove of articles, tips, and videos on topics that are relevant and meaningful to this movement. It’s definitely my #1, go to Web site.
2. The Action Method – It’s a tool created by Behance and explained extensively in Making Ideas Happen. Because I have so many projects on my plate, I need to maintain organization at all times. Once I step away from a system, I’m all out of whack. This is a system that works for me. (I just have to stick to using it.) As a matter of fact, I’m going to order the Action Journal  as soon as I’m done writing this post.
3. Diigo.com – I needed an online bookmarking tool to keep track of my web resources. I found a list of social bookmarking tools and checked them all out. Diigo stood out because it had very cool features like the ability to highlight text, take notes, upload images, connect with communities, and create groups. It was also easy to use. I created the gonegirlgo Virtual Resource Library (VRL) which currently contains over 75 web resources related to the movement and will be accessible only to Challenge Me to Grow participants this fall.
4. Blogs have become a necessary component of my personal learning network, especially in the area of social media and entrepreneurship. Keeping up with them is overwhelming at times because there’s so much to make meaning of. Every once in a while, I come across a blog written just for me. Today I came across this one by Matt Ruddman - How to Blog to Discover your Profitable Ideas. He’s got something here, at least something that I found valuable. I met Matt at a coaching showcase presented by the Cleveland Coach Federation. He’s a social media strategist and coach. He hosts a Social Media Call every Wednesday at 12 p.m. est. Trust me, he’s a go-to for all things social media.
5. This TEDTalk is one of my favorites. Eve Ensler, writer of the play, The Vagina Monologue, speaks eloquently about the power of being a girl. She suggests that “being a girl is so powerful that we had to train everyone not to be that.” She also shares the stories of girls from around the world who have overcome some overwhelming odds. This video is very befitting of this movement so I included it as a curriculum resource of Challenge Me to Grow.

In my past time, I create inspirational messages that define gonegirlgo. You may have noticed them if you are my Facebook friend or follow me on Twitter @zoelyf1. The one that I repeat to myself frequently is - How will you know unless you push forward and go? It’s so true.  I wouldn’t have found these 5 golden nuggets, if I hadn’t of embarked on this journey. I wonder what golden nuggets you will find when you embark on yours.

Peace

A NEW RITUAL

At the end of Challenge Me to Grow two weeks ago, I asked the group to sum up their experience by sharing lessons that they are learning, lessons that they have learned, and lessons that they want to teach others. It's an evaluation strategy that promotes self-reflection by examining learning progress and outcomes, and generating teachable moments. I was encouraged to hear the group share how they wanted to continue growing, be more transparent, and build their capacity to push their ideas forward.

Anything that I have the group do, I do it myself. It’s good for me to put myself in the participants’ shoes during this pilot phase. I can learn how the group experiences the activities. It helps me consider if the activities are worthwhile and accomplish what I intend them to. And based on this formative evaluation process, I can tweak whatever needs to be tweaked. So I shared a lesson that I’m learning just to get a taste of the experience. It felt good to engage in some healthy disclosure with the group and put my instruction to the test.

A few days after the session, I couldn’t help but think about this activity and the potential it had to help me gain some clarity about this movement. Based on my experiences pushing gonegirlgo forward so far, here’s some personal disclosure about the lessons that I'm learning, lessons that I've learned, and a lesson that I want to teach others.

LESSONS THAT I AM LEARNING

·     It is important for me to build the capacity to be a focused, disciplined, logistical, and rational dreamer. It's one thing to generate ideas; it's a whole entirely different game to execute them. I must commit myself to stick with my system for idea execution. The Action Method works for me, but I got a little lazy and stopped using it. Because I am the creative, dreamer type, I have to force myself to be relentless about organizing the movement as a project and focusing on action items that I need to accomplish. The bottom line is I need to stay on point. Things can get out of hand pretty quickly if and when I don’t stick to the system.

·    Procrastinating, stinking thinking, and operating without a purpose are barriers that I created within myself; therefore, I can work to eliminate them within myself. I have an issue with external barriers. I am learning how not to let them defeat me. Here’s my short list of things that I am learning to do when I’m pushing an idea forward and the odds seem against me:

1.    be patient

2.    go back and read the notes I took months ago to refocus

3.    devise a plan to overcome the odds, if they are scalable

4.    if the odds aren’t scalable, let that idea go

5.    lay down and take a nap

·    Never in a million years did I think I would get this bug, but I got it. It’s called entrepreneurship. I used to shun the word and anything associated with it. Now, I am more open to exploring opportunities. I am also learning that I always had it in me. Circumstances like unemployment and survival brought it out. But for me it’s not just about becoming monetized. It’s also about making impact, making a difference, and doing my part to make this world better. gonegirlgo came from a good place and I had no clue that it would lead me down the entrepreneurial path. So every time an idea or opportunity to promote the movement pops into my head, I remind myself where the movement came from - A GOOD PLACE.

LESSONS THAT I’VE LEARNED

·    I think that I can gauge interest through social media, but I have learned that I can’t gauge commitment through it. Let me explain. I won’t put in the time or energy to create an event in FB. If I send out an invite to 174 people, and 50 say they are coming, I shouldn’t get excited because 12 are going to show up. I have learned that the FB “join” sometimes means “I’m happy to see you doing something” and FB “like” sometimes means “I’m curious”. It helps to consider how to add a personal touch to an invite or FB connection. Inbox, phone calls, and email follow up helps. Just because people click like, doesn’t mean that they are ready to commit.

·    Experience has taught me that community is one of the most powerful tools that exist to help me push my ideas forward.  Do you agree? It’s one way for me to maintain a system of checks and balances. I am more inclined to push forward my ideas when I am a part of a community that encourages, offers help, and provides feedback. I used to believe that all I needed was a cheerleader on my team. Cheerleader types are great for encouragement, but it’s the coach types who keep you on your toes by asking you the hard questions. Scott Belsky writes about the dreamer, the doer, and the incrementalist in his book, Making Ideas Happen. The dreamer needs the doer the help her follow through. The doer needs the dreamer to help her dream of new ideas. The incrementalist plays both roles, but can be involved in too many projects “simply because they can”.  The point is, if I am going to push forward my ideas, forge partnerships, and create effective collaborations, I need a dreamer, doer, and incrementalist in my life.

A LESSON THAT I WANT TO TEACH

·    We all know the term “hater” (if you don’t, click here for the definition). I don’t think that we would admit that we are haters, but because we are human, we all have the potential and propensity to hate on someone else. Whatever our reasons are for being a hater (especially those of us who are haters on the down low), we need to deal with them. I want to help by designing a learning experience that influences us to transcend those feelings of envy, jealousy, and hate. (Please note: I am fighting the urge to call this experience Turning Hateration into Inspiration because it rhymes.) 

It’s been almost 6 months since the movement began and I'm happy to report that I still have room for growth. I know that  I’m definitely different than I used to be. I still have the passion to challenge others to grow through  gonegirlgo .  And I especially like the idea of making these three poignant questions a ritual of the process:

1. What lessons am I learning? 
2. What lessons have I learned?
3. What lessons do I want to teach others?

I think I’ll also ask myself these questions on a regular too.

Peace

LIVING THE GONEGIRLGO LIFE: VANESSA

Olivia's Daughter,
Vanessa Jordan

I’ve known Vanessa for a few years. We go to New Community Bible Fellowship and workout at True Image Fitness together. We’ve talked and mingled a little in the same circle, but I can’t say that we have been especially close. As an acquaintance, I knew that she had a heart for God. I also knew that she encountered a few trials and tribulations in her life that I’m sure changed her forever.

Recently, Vanessa and I have been connecting through our written words. I don’t know how I stumbled upon her blog, but when I did, I was so impressed with her transparency and honesty. Reading her words made me feel close to her. I don’t remember when and how we connected through gonegirlgo. I’m glad though because Vanessa is one of my biggest cheerleaders and I didn’t realize how much until today:

• She has commented on several of my posts.
• She has mentioned  gonegirlgo  in her blog a few times.
• She attended the 1st Challenge Me to Grow Kick-Off, even though she broke her foot that same week.
• She signed up to participate in the Challenge Me to Grow pilot.
• She has been to every event that I have been involved with over the past few months.

Now that’s what I call support.

When I asked her to share her story, I didn’t realize how much it would impact me. I didn't realize how much she would impact me. She is amazing and so I had to represent her story differently. I created a video using PowerPoint. Click the arrow to play the video. Click pause, if you need to slow the video down a little.

 

I look forward to what God has in store for me and Vanessa's new found friendship. It’s reassuring me about a few things in my life. Please follow Vanessa’s blog. It’s awesome. It's her.  http://www.vjordan79.blogspot.com/.

Peace

TAKE STOCK OFTEN

I’m not sure how often it should be done, but taking stock of your life regularly is a good thing to do. It’s like taking inventory of your life. It includes examining the goods that are in abundant supply, and the goods that need replenishing. Taking stock also involves looking back to see how far you have come (your position), and recognizing where you are now so that you can create a vision of where you want to go (direction).



Reading past journal entries helps me
to take stock



Let’s start with examining those goods. By goods, I don’t necessarily mean material possessions, but those assets and resources that dwell within your soul and spirit. Some of us refer to them as the fruits of the spirit – love, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, and self–control. Lately, I have been thinking about how these “goods” are displayed in my life.Since I have been pushing forward this movement, I have been more like Martha than Mary. I realize that if gonegirlgo is going to make impact, I need to go back to cultivating these goods or tending to these fruit in my garden.

This makes me recall a previous post when I said, “My experience has taught me that a person who desires to push their ideas and dreams forward can’t if they are living by default.” So I am taking stock in this area of my life, right now and I have to ask myself this question, “Am I living by default?”

  

I have held onto this thought for years.



For those of you who work or have worked in environments where goods are bought and sold, what would you say about taking inventory?  Is it fun? Does it require time? How much time does it take to complete the process? Do you need some type of checklist to use as a guide? What does it feel like as you’re doing it? What does it feel like when it is done? Asking yourself these questions will help you make sense of taking stock in this area of your life.  



This one is a great reminder
of how I used to think.



Now let’s look at taking stock of your position and direction. When I look back at my position as a big ideas thinker a few years ago, I appreciate the progress that I have made. I absolutely love the fact that I am no longer a dreamer afraid that my dreams will turn into nightmares and haunt me or that my ideas would be duds. Executing my ideas has been liberating and exciting. The energy, vibrancy, and wherewithal that I had when I was a little girl are back! Looking back at my past “then” helps me look forward to my future “then”. Looking back also helps me to regroup, refocus, and rewind. I have a better sense of where I want to go (direction). And to top it off, there’s a sweetness in my soul knowing that I am pushing forward in my purpose and that my ideas are encouraging others.

  

Here are a few questions that you can ask yourself to help you make sense of taking stock of your position and direction: Am I okay with where I have landed in life? What feelings get invoked when I recall where I was? What feelings get invoked when I think about where I am now? Are those feelings different? Has my thinking changed at all? What does it feel like now that I am living my purpose?

 

I was so fearful about sharing my
writing back then.



Writing this was good for me. I hope reading it is good for you. Remember to take stock often. And of course, push forward and go.

Peace



LIVING THE GONEGIRLGO LIFE: NIYIA

Niyia is a really good friend of my sister Nikki. I remember when we first met. This was about the time that I was facilitating God’s Beauty Shop and she had an etiquette school for girls. We talked on and on about our passion to help women and girls realize their true beauty. I didn’t know that one day our paths would cross again and that we would engage in a few projects together. I just love my “sis”. She’s energetic, spirited, down-to-earth, and motivated to push her ideas forward. She recently appeared in the play, "If You Knew Better,You'd Better Do Better". As an image and style coach, she is always pushing the message about the value of having true style. Whenever I see her, I am immediately drawn in by her gracious smile. I appreciate having such a vibrant person in my circle. Trust me, she keeps me pushing forward by living a gonegirlgo life!

Niyia wants to share the process that she went through that gave birth to her idea and vision, HIS Style. Here’s Niyia’s story:

At some point in my life I realized that I had to change being directed by my emotions and allowing them to trigger my insecurities. My response was terrible and a huge contradiction of who I thought I was - a stylish and polished lady! My response only displayed that I was capable of being loud, immature, revengeful, and strong in the wrong areas. One night in March 2011, I was up crying and having a pity party all by me because my inappropriate response cost me a relationship that I wanted to work. My reaction weighed on me deeply. I prayed and asked God, “How could this have gone differently? Please show me how to be better. Why can’t I say what I see just the way I see it?  Am I supposed to ‘fix’ myself to make others comfortable with me? What is wrong with my direct approach?”


Being patient is not one of my strongest attributes. I was forced to wait on the answer. About 30 days passed and I got my answer. The answer was so simple. Are you ready? DRUM ROLL… He told me that just as much effort as I put into my outward style I need to put into my inward style!  That was it! Doing those things that I was taught – being fly, having nice things, cooking a fabulous meal, or keeping my house spotless didn’t mean a thing if I were empty, dying in the inside, and displaying every image, but the one He gave me. All I could say was “Wow!” That very night HIS Style was born and my pain became fuel, and my mistake became my blessing.


HIS Style is a seminar that I developed to help women learn how to be response-able by identifying their cycle of inappropriate responses, and bad decision making that causes us to “blow down” or shut down. My desire is for women to get on beat with HIS heart so that we conduct ourselves with HIS Style no matter what issue arises. When we acquire HIS Style we can walk in the fullness of who we are and let go of the baggage that makes us so insecure.


Life challenges for many of us result in a push forward and may even lead to an idea to do something like Niyia described in her story. If she hadn’t experienced that tumultuous period, HIS Style may not have ever been born. I am excited about the first HIS Style seminar which takes place on Saturday, May 5, 2012 in Chagrin Falls Ohio. Tickets are $15.00 and can be purchased in advance. Contact Niyia at (216) 820-0711 or visit her website at www.uniquelyniyia.com for more information. Every woman who attends the workshop will receive a HIS Style Manual to remind them of how to move with style in everyday situations.


Keep the gonegirlgo stories coming. They inspire us all to push forward and go. 


Peace

LIVING THE GONEGIRLGO LIFE: DR. MARY JO ODOM

When this movement began, so much of it centered on the process of exploring my inner self.  During this heavy self-reflective time, I discovered four components of gonegirlgo that were essential if I was going to push forward and go. If you think back to those earlier posts, you will recall:

1.    Refuse to live by default

2.    Push against self-imposed barriers

3.    Be a reformed procrastinator (This has since changed, but that's another post.)

4.    Make meaning for yourself

The Core Action: Work on Your Inner Self is an
ongoing action in Challenge Me to Grow.

I felt compelled to get to the core of my issues and the reasons why I held myself back for so long. It was refreshing and in the process, I discovered that this movement had been germinating in my spirit for a long time. This realization and the things that God allowed to happen accidentally on purpose really pushed me forward to explore what the possibilities of the movement could be. What resulted is a learning solution called Challenge Me to Grow and at the core of the curriculum is the action Work on Your Inner Self.  

I am convinced that 90% of our problem pushing our ideas forward is wrapped up in our inability to get past the internal mess that we have created in our being. We are our worst enemy. We put up roadblocks in our minds, let our thoughts hold us captive, and create stories about ourselves that just aren’t true. This next story is from a really good friend of mine who has experienced what we all have experienced – inner turmoil that prevented her from living the gonegirlgo life. Here is Mary Jo and her story. She wants to tell you how she worked on her inner self so that she could push forward her idea.

I wore masks to hide, because internally I was dying. I wore masks to hide the pain and to deal with people and challenges.

In one period of my life, I experienced a lot of challenges, but I tried to still be strong for family, friends, and co-workers. My best friend was dying of cancer. I had just given birth to a beautiful baby boy. My other son was completing his second year of college. My abusive marriage was ending in divorce. I was worrying about my niece in the Iraq war. To top things off, I was completing my PhD.  To deal with the pain, I isolated myself mainly because I didn’t want anyone to see that I didn’t have it together this time. Family and friends was used to leaning on me, but now I couldn’t even hold myself up. One day my best friend dying of cancer said to me, “You are dying inside and I can see it all destroying the beauty that is you. If I could only live life over again.” His words still resonate in me.

As I look back, I think of a quote from Tony Robbins - “Change is never a matter of ability, but a matter of motivation”.  I needed to change and my friend’s death was the motivation to make it happen. The first thing I did was returned to church because addressing my spiritual needs was essential. I also found a therapist who helped me deal with my inner turmoil. One of the most powerful moments with her was when she asked to describe myself.  I told her, “I wear the mask. I don’t know who I am. My identity has always been attached to my parents, children, husband, and friends”.  She then asked me to draw and name all the masks that I wore and much to my surprise I came up with 23 masks. I named, described, and rationalized each mask. Her response to me was, “You must be tired.” At that moment, I realized that changing the masks daily was draining. The baggage I have carried most of my life meant meeting the needs of others and living up to everyone’s expectation and not having any expectations of me. My identity was attached to their wants, desires, and tasks.

I went through several other exercises with my therapist that helped me navigate who I was. I started keeping a journal of people, places and things that made me happy. Keeping note and learning about the true person inside became a project. I studied myself and discovered the subject of “me” was fascinating. Attached to my destiny was finding either new employment or creating something that would stir something within me. I began to consider diversity because it was a subject I studied as part of my PhD specialization. I prayed about it and God said, “Why can’t you use what I gave you in my house?”

Then I started to conduct research and discovered only 5% of religious organizations were racially integrated. The work I did in the secular community regarding diversity started changing my perspective about the church. I realized that this was bigger than me and that I would be the first to do this work. I understood that God’s grace would see me through and it would be for His glory. So the work began. I updated my knowledge through research on historical information, current data, and biblical principles. I discussed diversity and began to train Pastors on the implications of diversity in the church. I started teaching at a Christian University, and training Christian organizations. I began to write "The First Christian Diversity Handbook: Heaven Is Not Segregated”. I have completed my book and it is currently in the editing process. Now my days are filled with moving forward and I have addressed and healed the internal issues. Because of my healing, I am editing my book, conducting workshops, running my organization Vesicle Learning Inc., and working on the next phase. There are still hurdles to jump; however, I keep my journal near to read it over again and add new things that I discover to encourage and motivate myself to move.  Please visit my website at http://www.vesiclelearning.com for more information about a biblical perspective of diversity.

Mary Jo’s story touches me because of her honest disclosure about seeking professional help. I am reminded of an event that I recently attended at Case Western University – The Road to Recovery Mental Health Forum. The guest speaker was Terrie Williams, the author of Black Pain: It Just Looks Like We’re Not Hurting. Her foundation – The Stay Strong Foundation are pushing forward the message that it is okay for us to seek professional help when you are experiencing inner turmoil. I believe that many of us don't push forward our ideas because our inner turmoil runs real deep. So if necessary, let's be brave and get the help that we need so that we can do the work that we were assigned to do.

Peace  

LIVING THE GONEGIRLGO LIFE: IMANI

My one wish throughout the development of this movement has been that it would profoundly impact women. I haven't conducted any research or taken any polls, but based on the feedback that I have been getting on Facebook and Twitter, gonegirlgo is creating a little stir in my itty bitty corner of the universe (or so I believe). There's energy, momentum, and lots of excitement pushing the movement forward. It's amazing how my conversations with others about the movement radiate this energy, momentum, and excitement. It cracks me up thinking about conversations that I have had with different women about their ideas which end in the final, conclusive statement, "gonegirlgo!" 


But what is even more meaningful is the effect that the movement is having on women who are close to me. My mom and I have been connecting more deeply. So have me and my sister, Missy. The movement has widened the door for me to connect with my oldest daughter, Imani who at the tender age of 22, is establishing her identity and exploring her possibilities. We talk a lot about the ideas that she wants to execute. She's determined to push forward a project showcasing her artistic talents. What that says to me is that this movement is for women of all ages. That's the target audience - women of all ages. 


The other day, Imani shared with me an Instagram message that she posted. I was so touched by her honesty, clarity, and determination to define her movement. She's living the gonegirlgo life too and I wanted to share this snapshot of her story that is just beginning. Check out my boo:

When Imani shared with me her desire to become a great makeup artist, I will admit that I was a little disappointed. I wanted her to take the road that I took. I wanted her to conform to my expectations. At some point, I realized that I needed to let her push forward and go. It was hard, but very necessary. She is pushing forward so that she can go impact her world. I'm proud of her and that's cool with me.


Peace

LIVING THE GONEGIRLGO LIFE: RA'NESHA

It's been a while, I know, since I last posted something on the blog. Being a consistent blogger is a challenge, especially when you are trying to maintain a bias toward action.The movement is not gonegirlwrite. (It could be though, now that I think about. You make meaning of this movement for yourself. Your "go" is action - whatever that action is supposed to be then go ahead and do it!) Anyway, I wish I could write all day long, but at some point, I have to execute; I have to push forward and go. 


So I am executing this thing, right? I've married the movement with my purpose and passion which has resulted in the development of a niche training program. I've held two Kick-Off sessions of the Challenge Me to Grow Blended Learning Experience. The pilot of Challenge Me to Grow actually starts in a couple of weeks. There are about 10 women ready to go. The website is in the works and there are some other goodies in development that make me way too excited.

While all of this is happening, I can't help but notice the women who I am encountering on a regular. They are really my inspiration. Observing and listening to them, gives me a reason to do what I do. Some are ready to go. There are others whose pilot lights are just being ignited. While others are already taking action.  They are determined, energetic, and motivated. They want to be a blessing to others. They want to leave behind a legacy that their children can be proud of. They are gonegirlgo personified. 


These next series of posts will feature women who are living the gonegirlgo life. I believe that the power of their stories will definitely encourage others to push forward and go. 


Meet Ra'Nesha Wilson, a University of Akron graduate who has her own consulting firm, The Springer Group, LLC. At some point in her life she wanted to make a change and do something different. She wanted to push forward her idea so that she could go impact the world. This is her story.

Zoe: What idea popped into your head?

I am free-spirited. I believe that
 nothing in life is hard when you live life
to the fullest and end everyday with a
smile despite circumstance. I believe it is
important to pray first than take action.
Ra'Nesha Wilson

Ra’Nesha: It was time for me to invest more into the community. I was not placed on this earth to be selfish and be all about me. I became involved in an annual community action project of Dress for Success Cleveland called the Prom Project “Once in a Lifetime”. The goal of the project is to give two deserving female high school students the most memorable prom regardless of their families’ financial hardships. We secured donations from successful entrepreneurs in the Cleveland area including, gift cards, spa gift baskets filled with tons of goodies and surprises, hair and nails done by Anntwinette as Salon Productions, a senior photo shoot by Joseph White of Studio J. Photography, Box Bag Purses donated by Michelle Crawford, Mary Kay lip gloss and fragrances donated by Clotea Mack, strawberries donated by Ronnie, the owner of The Pink Strawberry, and a full facial makeover with Shannon Hamilton of Mary Kay. In addition, each young woman will be presented with a check to purchase their prom dress and other accessories.

Zoe: What were some of the questions that you asked yourself that helped you dig a little deeper to explore the possibilities of your idea? 

The Five Essential Actions of
Challenge Me to Grow

Ra’Nesha: What is the need? How can I be an asset to others? Would I rather be part of the solution or the person who only complains without action? I remain focused and motivated by realizing that some things are bigger than me and it is not always about me. It is about the person whose life I can change by giving a small token of my time.

Zoe: What process did you use to map it out and get yourself organized?

Ra’Nesha: I created a vision board because it is a simple yet powerful visualization tool that activates the universal law of attraction to begin manifesting your dreams into reality.

Zoe: Who did you share your idea with?

Ra’Nesha: I shared my idea with Joandra Wilson (sister), Lauren Miller (mentor), Jeffrey Springer (boyfriend), Marlin Martin (friend), Howard Payton (family member/mentor), Carmen Hawkins (past delegate of Dress for Success). They supported me in various ways by helping me clearly define my vision and providing monetary support. 

I pray that my idea will have a positive impact and motivate others to give. I must say the ability to assist someone in need is truly a blessing and very fulfilling to me. So far I have received many calls from people I don’t know thanking me and letting me know they are praying for me.

Zoe: What does executing your idea feel like?

Ra’Nesha: Unbelievable. I am so graciously thankful.

If you are interested in donating to the Prom Project, click this link
http://www.dressforsuccess.org/affiliate.aspx?sisid=19&pageid=22. Click the PayPal link and make sure to type “CAP” as the Purpose so that your contribution is applied to the Prom Project.


See. There's no reason to be fearful about that idea that popped into your head. Your idea contributes to the greater good and it inspires someone else. Live the gonegirlgo life. Push forward and go.


Peace