A NEW RITUAL

At the end of Challenge Me to Grow two weeks ago, I asked the group to sum up their experience by sharing lessons that they are learning, lessons that they have learned, and lessons that they want to teach others. It's an evaluation strategy that promotes self-reflection by examining learning progress and outcomes, and generating teachable moments. I was encouraged to hear the group share how they wanted to continue growing, be more transparent, and build their capacity to push their ideas forward.

Anything that I have the group do, I do it myself. It’s good for me to put myself in the participants’ shoes during this pilot phase. I can learn how the group experiences the activities. It helps me consider if the activities are worthwhile and accomplish what I intend them to. And based on this formative evaluation process, I can tweak whatever needs to be tweaked. So I shared a lesson that I’m learning just to get a taste of the experience. It felt good to engage in some healthy disclosure with the group and put my instruction to the test.

A few days after the session, I couldn’t help but think about this activity and the potential it had to help me gain some clarity about this movement. Based on my experiences pushing gonegirlgo forward so far, here’s some personal disclosure about the lessons that I'm learning, lessons that I've learned, and a lesson that I want to teach others.

LESSONS THAT I AM LEARNING

·     It is important for me to build the capacity to be a focused, disciplined, logistical, and rational dreamer. It's one thing to generate ideas; it's a whole entirely different game to execute them. I must commit myself to stick with my system for idea execution. The Action Method works for me, but I got a little lazy and stopped using it. Because I am the creative, dreamer type, I have to force myself to be relentless about organizing the movement as a project and focusing on action items that I need to accomplish. The bottom line is I need to stay on point. Things can get out of hand pretty quickly if and when I don’t stick to the system.

·    Procrastinating, stinking thinking, and operating without a purpose are barriers that I created within myself; therefore, I can work to eliminate them within myself. I have an issue with external barriers. I am learning how not to let them defeat me. Here’s my short list of things that I am learning to do when I’m pushing an idea forward and the odds seem against me:

1.    be patient

2.    go back and read the notes I took months ago to refocus

3.    devise a plan to overcome the odds, if they are scalable

4.    if the odds aren’t scalable, let that idea go

5.    lay down and take a nap

·    Never in a million years did I think I would get this bug, but I got it. It’s called entrepreneurship. I used to shun the word and anything associated with it. Now, I am more open to exploring opportunities. I am also learning that I always had it in me. Circumstances like unemployment and survival brought it out. But for me it’s not just about becoming monetized. It’s also about making impact, making a difference, and doing my part to make this world better. gonegirlgo came from a good place and I had no clue that it would lead me down the entrepreneurial path. So every time an idea or opportunity to promote the movement pops into my head, I remind myself where the movement came from - A GOOD PLACE.

LESSONS THAT I’VE LEARNED

·    I think that I can gauge interest through social media, but I have learned that I can’t gauge commitment through it. Let me explain. I won’t put in the time or energy to create an event in FB. If I send out an invite to 174 people, and 50 say they are coming, I shouldn’t get excited because 12 are going to show up. I have learned that the FB “join” sometimes means “I’m happy to see you doing something” and FB “like” sometimes means “I’m curious”. It helps to consider how to add a personal touch to an invite or FB connection. Inbox, phone calls, and email follow up helps. Just because people click like, doesn’t mean that they are ready to commit.

·    Experience has taught me that community is one of the most powerful tools that exist to help me push my ideas forward.  Do you agree? It’s one way for me to maintain a system of checks and balances. I am more inclined to push forward my ideas when I am a part of a community that encourages, offers help, and provides feedback. I used to believe that all I needed was a cheerleader on my team. Cheerleader types are great for encouragement, but it’s the coach types who keep you on your toes by asking you the hard questions. Scott Belsky writes about the dreamer, the doer, and the incrementalist in his book, Making Ideas Happen. The dreamer needs the doer the help her follow through. The doer needs the dreamer to help her dream of new ideas. The incrementalist plays both roles, but can be involved in too many projects “simply because they can”.  The point is, if I am going to push forward my ideas, forge partnerships, and create effective collaborations, I need a dreamer, doer, and incrementalist in my life.

A LESSON THAT I WANT TO TEACH

·    We all know the term “hater” (if you don’t, click here for the definition). I don’t think that we would admit that we are haters, but because we are human, we all have the potential and propensity to hate on someone else. Whatever our reasons are for being a hater (especially those of us who are haters on the down low), we need to deal with them. I want to help by designing a learning experience that influences us to transcend those feelings of envy, jealousy, and hate. (Please note: I am fighting the urge to call this experience Turning Hateration into Inspiration because it rhymes.) 

It’s been almost 6 months since the movement began and I'm happy to report that I still have room for growth. I know that  I’m definitely different than I used to be. I still have the passion to challenge others to grow through  gonegirlgo .  And I especially like the idea of making these three poignant questions a ritual of the process:

1. What lessons am I learning? 
2. What lessons have I learned?
3. What lessons do I want to teach others?

I think I’ll also ask myself these questions on a regular too.

Peace

LIVING THE GONEGIRLGO LIFE: IMANI

My one wish throughout the development of this movement has been that it would profoundly impact women. I haven't conducted any research or taken any polls, but based on the feedback that I have been getting on Facebook and Twitter, gonegirlgo is creating a little stir in my itty bitty corner of the universe (or so I believe). There's energy, momentum, and lots of excitement pushing the movement forward. It's amazing how my conversations with others about the movement radiate this energy, momentum, and excitement. It cracks me up thinking about conversations that I have had with different women about their ideas which end in the final, conclusive statement, "gonegirlgo!" 


But what is even more meaningful is the effect that the movement is having on women who are close to me. My mom and I have been connecting more deeply. So have me and my sister, Missy. The movement has widened the door for me to connect with my oldest daughter, Imani who at the tender age of 22, is establishing her identity and exploring her possibilities. We talk a lot about the ideas that she wants to execute. She's determined to push forward a project showcasing her artistic talents. What that says to me is that this movement is for women of all ages. That's the target audience - women of all ages. 


The other day, Imani shared with me an Instagram message that she posted. I was so touched by her honesty, clarity, and determination to define her movement. She's living the gonegirlgo life too and I wanted to share this snapshot of her story that is just beginning. Check out my boo:

When Imani shared with me her desire to become a great makeup artist, I will admit that I was a little disappointed. I wanted her to take the road that I took. I wanted her to conform to my expectations. At some point, I realized that I needed to let her push forward and go. It was hard, but very necessary. She is pushing forward so that she can go impact her world. I'm proud of her and that's cool with me.


Peace

Things Can Happen Accidentally On Purpose

Before today, I had no clue that
raccoons possess a certain power.

I really, really, really hate admitting that I am addicted to FaceBook. Not that I think that this addiction is a totally bad thing. It does have its place in my life now. The way I use it has primarily shifted over the past few months. It started as a way for me to stay connected with my sisters and other family members. I  love seeing pictures of Navi and Jaden (my niece and nephew) considering they are more than 700 miles away. It was where I gave birth to my trademark. I have been able to reconnect with old acquaintances. And because I am an e-learning enthusiast, I recognize the potential it has for transforming the learning process. Now I realize that my FaceBook posts also provide fodder for this blog and other writing assignments that are down the road. (Disclaimer: Please don't be alarmed by my use of words. Just go to dictionary.com and look up fodder. Vocabulary words just aren't for kids, you know.)

I am not necessarily proud of the amount of time that I spend on FaceBook, especially lately, but I really do get a lot inspiration and encouragement reading most posts (Sometimes I think that I need to delete a few people cause our mindsets really don't line up, but then again, that might be a good thing. Isn't it important to know about other views that don't necessary line up with yours? Uh huh. I thought so, but that's another topic!). This morning, someone posted this scripture, "For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand so that we would walk in them." I really try to make sure that I read every post that's a quote from the Bible. It doesn't feel right skipping those posts knowing that I took the time to read an actual status update about a party attended over the weekend, a quote someone likes, or a rant that somebody needs to get off their chest, but I skipped over God's word! Well, this particular verse really stood out to me today, and is the point of this very post.

I believe that everything that has happened in my life was prepared beforehand - before the beginning of time, before the beginning of history, before the beginning of my ancestors, before the beginning of my parents, and before the beginning of me. I know that it might be a challenging notion for some to believe and that is ok with me. I don't mind challenging you or being challenged myself because that's how we grow. Remember, this movement is not about prejudice, bias, and stereotypes.  It is my belief and you can choose to subscribe to it or not. If you are reading this, I would hope that you would hold my belief with some regard because I have chosen to share it with you. So, let me make this point.  Now, since this (what I believe) is the case, then I also must believe that things can happen accidentally on purpose. Things that I had no control over, but were prepared beforehand for me to walk in. You still tracking with me? Several things have happened this way recently and I can't help but be amazed:

• Seeing Dawn at TJ Maxx almost two years ago without a notion that our friendship would blossom and that she would be that one person to encourage me to push forward and execute that one idea.
• Meeting Terre at Opus when I clearly wasn't interested in making new friends, even though my heart was crying out for a change. I know she is tired of me saying this, but I am so glad that we connected. Her energy has rubbed off on me in such a good way.
• Having that raccoon who has the same schedule as I do interrupt my drive to work two days in a row. Based on Native American beliefs, this animal has the kind of power that has been surfacing in my life recently. (Please note: I am not going to start worshipping racoons now, but it does make me feel a certain way identifying with my Native American ancestry.)
• Praying with Deacon Domingue this past Sunday who after I shared with him my prayer request, said, "You should look up my daughter. She might be able to help you." Truth be told, I really wanted to pray with Vanessa J., but she wasn't available when my turn came. What's really funny about this accidental thing that happened on purpose was that I didn't even know that he had a daughter!!!! But I'm glad he did. I looked her up on Monday, and we talked today. And she is cold y'all, really like cold blooded (not the reptile version, but the slang version of the word). After we talked all I could say was WOW.
• Losing my precious job in October 2010. If I had still worked for Head Start, I would have never pushed forward with  gonegirlgo™ because Head Start was such a consuming passion for me. I grew up professionally in Head Start, and spent about 15 years in that environment. I guess it was time for me to leave that comfortable nest.

I can think of a few more things that have happened to me accidentally on purpose. But don't you think that these are enough to contemplate right now? I do.

Peace