A LIST YOU MUST POST SOMEWHERE SO YOU CAN READ IT EVERYDAY

This lil mama was the perfect character
for my book way back when.

Based on years of experience, here's a list of what not to do, if you ever have a great idea:

• Act like you never felt that tingling sensation in the bottom of your toes when that idea first popped into your head in the middle of the night
• Ignore the warning signs that you really had a purpose in life 
• Overwhelm yourself with the mundane, routine, and everyday tasks of life
• Tell somebody about that idea then never talk about it again because you never talk to them again
• Write down everything that you wanted to do and then lose the little napkin, big notebook, and Word document that you wrote it on
• Forget to pray and ask God for guidance
• Wait until you have a whole bunch of money
• Listen to someone tell you why that idea won't work, can't happen, or doesn't make sense
• Take on a hobby that you will never be passionate about
• Pretend like your 9-5 job is the only thing that can be your passion and purpose
• Ignore your gut feeling
• Never align your means to your end
• Wait until your kids grow up (some of the best ideas came when they were little and had something to do with them like The Adventures of Nia and J.R. (Conversation with self: Dang I wish I would have wrote that children's book back in 1997! She's practically grown now and J.R. (my Jack Russell Terrier brother) has been gone for years!)
• Keep talking about what you are going to do but never take even one baby step to make it happen
• Be mortified to step out of the box
• Be afraid to be different, weird, or strange
• Never ask anyone to help you

Now, here is a list of what to do, if you ever have a great idea:

• Push forward



This lil mama is still a character (she's to my left),
but I don't think she will appreciate me
writing stories about her anymore.

• Go

Peace

REAL TALK PART I

I need this balance.

This movement is definitely a consuming passion in my life right now. There isn't a moment of the day when I don't think about pushing gonegirlgo™ forward. At times I wish I could hurry up and get to the good part, whatever that is. I want to see what it is going to look like...all of it and not just this blog. (I actually do see it. I just want to hurry up and get there.) My capacity to dream about it grows everyday. I have to fight the urge not to just dream, but do. There needs to be a balance of dreaming and doing, if I am going to push forward and go. But I do have some issues that if I let them will either drive me crazy or stop me in my tracks. Pushing this movement forward is fun, but hard - exactly like I said in a previous post. Enough said, let's have some REAL TALK. 

• I am tired. All this thinking, doing, and late night blogging is wearing me out. On top of that, I have to get up early during the week and drive to Akron to work a job that I need right now. What's wrong with this picture? I'm not a morning person. I worked from home for 7 years. And I have to wrestle with Sage and Nia way tooooooo early in the morning!
• My right knee and sometimes lower back hurt, probably because of working out (There's this one move that has been affecting my back lately. Problem is, I like the move and want to keep doing it.) I'm not as spry as I used to be and want to be now. One wrong move may result in a little pain. I don't do well with pain. It makes me want to lay down and I really don't want to lay down now. I guess this is the issue with us late bloomers...that's another discussion. (I know you are probably saying to yourself, "She should stop wearing those dang high heels all the time!" Sorry y'all. I can't. Remember my high heels give me super power.)
• I am impatient. I want instant answers, results, and gratification, despite how unrealistic this thinking is. Unfortunately I can't push forward and go as fast as I want. Others working on a few items for me can't go as fast as I want them to either.
• I mentioned in an earlier post that I am planning an event. This is the first idea under my reformed identity that I am pushing forward. I am just a little nervous about it. It happens this coming Monday.
• I'm moving with trepidation pushing forward this one gonegirlgo™ idea. I recognize my fear of time and that might have something to do with why I "used" to be a procrastinator. (Becoming a reformed procrastinator is a process and it takes time to unlearn the skill and art of procrastination.) Anyway, I am dealing with an uneasiness about a few things related to time. 

1. I have to clear my plate of one project that I acquired in the  past. I know that it is intense, and because I am working a 9-5 and don't have the flexibility that I used to, I have to deliberately fit this project into my already packed schedule. 
2. I am being challenged to execute this one gonegirlgo™ idea in March...this March...the March that is only 27 days away. It's scary because I know that my creativity is wrapped up in this notion of perfection. I have to get the ideas just right, make them clear, doll them up, and prepare myself to deliver them. Not only that, there are the logistics and administrative tasks that need to be done too. 
3. My mind is relentless at reminding me of all my failures and weaknesses. And connected to these imps are my relationship with time (Or so I think. I definitely gotta dig deeper into this thought). These are the two barriers that have the potential to defeat me. 

O.K. That feels better. After all this honest conversation, I realize that I am not compelled to stop in my tracks. I am actually compelled to strategize and plan. Recently, Pastor Kevin delivered a sermon entitled, "How to Keep Advancing in Your God-Given Goals". Why was I changing purses this morning and found these sermon notes? (And I remembered how I felt sitting in church that Sunday listening to Pastor deliver this sermon and its key verses in Nehemiah. It was not the first time that I heard him teach this lesson, but this time it was directly related to my effort at pushing forward so that I can go. I wanted to run up to the front of the sanctuary and give him a great big hug! But instead, I settled for sitting and smiling.)  I think we know why these particular sermon notes resurfaced. I needed the reminder of these key points: keep praying, keep implementing practical strategies, and keep people the priority. REAL TALK is probably the first in a series of posts. REAL TALK keeps me grounded and honest with myself. REAL TALK might even benefit some other folks. I hope so.

Peace

The Conversation that I Dreaded Having With Myself

Pushing forward my ideas about the potential of gonegirlgo ™ is really challenging me to step up to the plate and move. I have never felt so compelled to do something in my life. I am truly amazed at how this unfolding movement is itself causing me to change my approach to life. I feel my speech getting stronger. I feel my walk getting stronger. I feel my ability to connect with others getting stronger. I am truly astonished by the influence of this passion in my life.  

It is confession time, though. I have a weakness that I must admit right now. I am a procrastinator. I will wait until the very last minute to get that thing done. I will think about it. I will have every intention to set the time aside to do it. I will even write it on my to-do list. (I am ashamed at how long one project has been on my to-do list. I’ve got to change this, y'all!)

People who know me and love me are very gracious to me because of my weakness. They know that the end result will be the bomb so they just let me slide. But I am tired of sliding. I want to be a reformed procrastinator. I want to challenge myself to grow in managing my time and my energy. So hence, the fourth component of gonegirlgo ™ - Be a Reformed Procrastinator.

I don’t have any answers yet that will help me push forward with this one. And that’s funny to me. The one component of this movement and my big weakness has got me at a loss of words. I guess it’s something that I need to dig a little deeper into. So my internal work will involve asking myself some hard questions.  So here's the conversation that I am dreading to have with myself: 

Me: Why do I procrastinate?



Look in the mirror and have a difficult
conversation with yourself!



Me: Because I think I can beat the clock and I put too much on my plate in the first place.

Me: Ok Zoe, I just answered this question with two issues – beating the clock and overwhelming myself. Let’s talk about this beating the clock thing. Why do I think I can beat the clock?

Me: I don’t know. I never really had this conversation with myself before. Maybe I think that because I can figure stuff out pretty quickly that I don’t have to start right away. I mean some of my best work was created at the last minute, right?

Me: Yeh, I get that, but I am driving myself crazy doing that all the time. Just because I can figure stuff out fairly fast doesn’t mean it is a healthy thing to do. I want to push forward and go, right?

Me: Yes, of course.

Me: Then work on becoming a reformed procrastinator and stop waiting until the clock strikes 12. Get the thing done, now! gonegirlgo ™